It’s 11 pm and you and your man want to have some sexy time. You have condoms but your bottle of lube is as dry as a ‘Banting’ cupcake. Your boyfriend is hung like Eeyore and as accommodating as you’d like to think you are, no penetration can take place without an uncomfortable stretch on your part/s. Using body moisturiser from the shops is probably not a good idea as many creams are full of parabens and other chemicals that will do your insides no good, and using any oil-based products like baby oil, butter or sunflower oil, will cause your condom to disintegrate, because oil is like kryptonite for condoms. Gob, spit and phlegm is generally not suggested as a lubricant because enzymes in saliva could also compromise the integrity of a condom and it doesn’t lubricate for very long before drying out.
This is a two-man party that NEEDS lubrication. Solution? What would Suzelle do?
Make your own lube, baby!
Raw egg whites can work well as a lubricant, if you need a ‘quick fix’, just be sure to be careful that you don’t get salmonella poisoning from ingesting the raw eggs. Keeping pasteurised eggs in the house will ensure that this won’t be a potential hazard.
One of the best homemade lube solutions can be found in your baking cupboard. Mixing cornstarch and water make a splendid water-based lubricant, and it’s very easy to wash off afterwards too. Start by making a paste of water and cornstarch and then gradually adding more water to prevent it from going lumpy.
If you happen to have some Aloe Vera plants in your garden, you can slice and squeeze out some of the natural Aloe Vera gel, for a super healthy slip ’n slide solution. Remember that this stuff is used to stop people biting their nails due to it’s taste, so you may want to avoid getting it in your mouth, although it’s harmless if you do.
If you are just looking for some lubricant for yourself, that does not require a condom remaining intact, you can use some coconut oil or olive oil to keep things gliding smoothly along. Coconut oil is not good for condoms, though. You may want to give cocoa butter a skip though as it can create a mucky germ-friendly environment around your man parts.
Do you have any other water-based solutions/recipes to share?