At 28, I am a self-proclaimed sex addict, because sex is natural and fun; it relieves stress, keeps your heart healthy, and helps you sleep at night. However, it has been a personal struggle over the years to practice safer sex because it looks dull and not enticing, even though I had access to condoms, I would ask myself, “How can a child eat candy with the wrapper on?”
Due to health reasons and the willingness to learn, I finally discovered that I can still have full enjoyment during sex, while I keep it safer and make it look cool at the same time. Using a condom every time during sex is cool, it gives those in love pleasure, and helps to avoid the risk of getting sexually transmitted infections, including HIV and other related diseases.
It’s hard to have fun if you do not feel good about yourself. Therefore, it is critical not to use sex as reassurance for being popular, needed, attractive, loved, and so on. Sex is also only fun if it is between two consenting partners, free of coercion and violence. You should make sure the person you are considering having sex with is happy to participate and try other forms of safer sex which include many sexual activities, both penetrative (intercourse) and non-penetrative (outer-course) sex. Non-penetrative sex includes masturbation, mutual masturbation, touching your partner’s genitals and oral sex.
I believe that we should also talk about our expectations and experiences to make sure your partner knows what you like and don’t like, and what needs to change in future. As sexual partners we need to discuss, agree upon, and support each other in deciding upon sexual limits and safer sex choices.
The misconception that safer sex is not enjoyable is uncool and not true, especially now that there are brands of government-issued condoms, which come in a variety of flavours (Banana, Grape, Strawberry & Vanilla) and are designed for maximum pleasure to be less noisy. We should also remember that safer sex can mean protection from emotional hurt and guilt too.
By: Esau Dlamini
Esau Dlamini is a contributing writer for Anova Health Institute. These are his views, which may, or may not reflect those of the Anova Health Institute and its affiliates.