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What Men Should Know

Confidence is Key

For supper tonight I had a butternut curry, and what is a curry without potatoes and rice? Seems like a meal that is quite heavy on carbs, or so I thought as I took the last few bites while clicking on a Facebook post to check out the specials of a local gay bar. That wasn’t a very good idea, and I’ll tell you why.

My friends and I have partied at this place and it’s been great, but have you looked around? On the screens are men in speedos, at the bar the topless bartenders smile ever so kindly to perhaps encourage you to tip or buy them a drink, after all, sex sells. But with all these sales being made, what are they doing to their audience?

As an overweight child, who FINALLY gained some sort of physical appeal in varsity then gained a few more kilos back after graduation, I can tell you, idealized ‘sex’ might do more damage than we think. It instills a culture where we feel lesser because we have one big pack instead of 6 small ones. It turns vegetarians into carnivorous gym-bofans because status is only gained when you have ‘the look’, and what about those who end up doing more harm than good with every diet they try?

Also, it’s not like our community is kind at all. We look at each other and think; ‘nah, he’s too big’. We’ve all done it at some point, then we look in the mirror and we’re not happy with ourselves either, so why then this circle of dissatisfaction?

One thing is for sure, some of us can’t shake off the weight without a mountain of struggle or without entering Survivor. Fortunately, my career and my social life mean more to me than 6 or more hours per week in the gym even though I convince myself that ‘I’m doing it for me’.

Being healthy should be sexy, no matter how you look. Physical appearances are important so why not add character to your look through grooming, being styled well or even making small changes to your lifestyle. Abs are great, we all like them, but hopefully he can offer you a decent conversation too because the closer you get to 30, the less rock-hard abs matter…

Being comfortable with yourself and with others starts by looking in the mirror and appreciating yourself as a whole. If you can’t seem to meet guys because of the way you look, then re-evaluate how much ‘game’ you have.  One thing I am grateful for is realizing at about 19/20 years-old that sometimes it really is all about charm and personality. That’s how I scored.

No one needs weight advice anymore, Instagram makes us feel both over-weight and unrealistically captivated in any case. One thing that is important though, is to be authentic. When you’re authentic then you’re confident, so spread THAT confidence, not judgement.

Martin Headger is a contributing writer for the Anova Health Institute and these are his views, which may or may not reflect those of Anova and its affiliates.